You must be 18 or over to purchase or collect alcohol. Curatif supports the Responsible Service of Alcohol. ID will be checked upon pick up of your order.
Pornstar Martini: An Orgy of Opulence in a Tiny Tin
Ladies, gentlemen, and degenerates of exquisite taste - behold our Pornstar Martini, a canned bacchanal so utterly excessive, so lusciously unhinged, that it might just wink at you before kissing your sensibilities on the mouth. This is not a drink. This is a performance piece for your mouth.
Crafted with glistening precision, this sensorial carnival begins with French Wheat Vodka 0 as smooth and silky as a Parisian scandal. We then dive headlong into South American Passionfruit so ripe, so fragrant, it should have its own OnlyFans. But we don’t stop there. Oh no. We drape this tropical hedonism in the rich, velvety embrace of Madagascan Vanilla, a bean so luxurious it’s banned in some Protestant households. And then, just to slap your palate awake, we splash in fresh lime juice, the citrusy lightning bolt that balances the debauchery with a zesty “bonjour, lover.”
But where, you cry, does this nectarous nonsense come from? Step into the stilettoed footsteps of the late, great Douglas Ankrah, the genius mixologist who birthed the Pornstar Martini in early-2000s London. His goal? To make a cocktail as cheeky, lavish, and unforgettable as the nightlife that inspired it. The name? A bold, irreverent homage to the unapologetic glam of the adult film industry - a drink meant to tease, titillate, and make your friends ask, “Wait, what did you just order?”
But here’s the clincher, the true coup de grâce of this decadent darling: it’s traditionally served with a sidecar of Champagne. Why? Because Douglas knew that some desires deserve two parts. The Pornstar Martini is pleasure layered - sip the cocktail, then follow it with a shot of bubbles to cleanse, elevate, and reset your tastebuds for another round of sin. Or chaos. Or both. We don't judge.
Now imagine all that - the drama, the swagger, the gold-dusted luxury - compacted into one of our iconic, award-winning cans. Ready to go wherever your inner diva takes you. Rooftop soirée? Obnoxious hens’ weekend? Solo Tuesday bath cry? It delivers. Cold. Sexy. Consistent. Every. Damn. Time.
And let’s be real: no one drinks a Pornstar Martini for subtlety. This is not a quiet, introspective tipple. This is a strut, a cackle, a pop song played at an inappropriately loud volume. It’s flirty, fruity, and utterly shameless - just like you should be.
So go on, be a little scandalous. Peel back the ring-pull, pour it into a coupe glass (or don't - decadence doesn’t discriminate), serve with a chilled shot of sparkling wine, and channel your inner chaos goblin.
The policy relates to products purchased via www.curatif.com and not through any retail outlet. If your return or refund request is for a product purchased from any Australian retail outlet please refer to their terms and conditions.
Our Returns Policy includes the rights you have under the Australian Consumer Law (see below) and provides you with additional benefits in addition to those rights, because your satisfaction is important to us.
Your rights under the Australian Consumer Law:
- Our goods come with guarantees that cannot be excluded under the Australian Consumer Law. You are entitled to a replacement or refund for a major failure and for compensation for any other reasonably foreseeable loss or damage. You are also entitled to have the goods repaired or replaced if the goods fail to be of acceptable quality and the failure does not amount to a major failure. - If in the event your purchase is faulty, damaged, wrongly described or breaches a consumer guarantee we will cheerfully refund your money or exchange the product upon presentation of your proof of purchase. If your purchase incurred a delivery fee, then we will cover the cost of delivery for the return if Curatif is at fault. That is, if the wrong product is delivered, there is a fault with the product (including any damage caused in transit) or Curatif has breached a consumer guarantee. In all other circumstances, including change of mind, the delivery charge will be deducted from the refund to the customer.
The fastest way to obtain a refund or exchange is to contact us curatif@curatif.com where one of our team will be able to assist you immediately.
Proof of purchase must be provided to obtain a refund/exchange and the product must be in a saleable condition. Saleable condition is defined as: - Within its use by or best before date.
- Packaging is not damaged and in original condition.
- No heat damage
In the event that your product must be returned to our fulfilment centre, please allow 2-3 business days for your refund to be processed after the product has been received at the fulfilment centre. You agree that you cannot change or cancel an order after it has been placed. If you wish to change or cancel your order please contact our Customer Service Team as soon as possible curatif@curatif.com. Every attempt will be made to accommodate your request, however unfortunately no guarantee can be given once an order has been placed. If we agree to you changing or cancelling your order after it has been placed, we may do so subject to you providing proof of purchase, to the ordered products being in their original condition and packaging and to you agree to pay an amount we request on account of our reasonable costs of processing the change or cancellation. If your order has already been processed, you may still be able to return your order, which can be done easily via Australia Post. Our Returns Address is:
Curatif Operations Pty Ltd
284B Ingles St
Port Melbourne VIC 3207
This is not your mum’s Martini.
Easy to Love - All Night Long
- Collaboration with the world’s best spirits
- Created in Australia
- 100% Natural Ingredients from around the world
Fast & free shipping
We ship all of our packages conveniently overnight using Express Post, and when you spend over $75 your cocktails will be sent totally free of charge.
Convenience
Impeccably crafted cocktails, ready to serve, sip, and savour.
Quality
We partner exclusively with the world's best spirits, liqueurs, and bars to create world class cocktails. In cans.
Sustainability
All of our packaging is recyclable, and mostly made from recycled products. Aluminium cans are infinitely recyclable.